Frequently Asked Questions

(or that have been asked at least once)

 

Why are you doing this?

Because someone already climbed Mt. Everest, and I don't like the cold anyhow.

 

What gave you the idea?

I don't remember the exact train of thought or conversation that gave birth to the idea, but it had to do with discussions, at my local Starbucks, of of course, of how quickly Starbucks was growing and how they hoped to have 2000 locals by the year 2000. At some point I, or somebody there, wondered out look how neat it might be to try to visit them all.

 

Do you actually drink coffee at each location?

Oh, yes. I often drink 15-25 a day in the bigger cities, like NYC and LA. Think of the classic 'Beavis and Butthead' episode, 'Butt-niks'.

 

Does Starbucks know what you are up to?

I've give my URL out to many partners, managers, and district managers that I've met while on the road, and some have told me they've passed it around. Recently, I've been contacted by various employees of Starbucks Corporate with words of enthusiasm, or just questions about my project. So somebody up in Seattle knows.

 

What does Starbucks think about all this?

I've received a few e-mails indicating that my URL has been passed around Seattle, but I have no idea what their "official" position is.

 

Do you own Starbucks stock?

No, but if you want to give me some, I'll gladly accept it.

 

Do you work for Starbucks?

A few years ago, I worked at a Starbucks in Plano, TX, as a stockboy for a month during the Christmas rush. But that was strictly for fun--I couldn't afford to fund my travels as a partner, nor would I be able to spends months every year on the road.

 

Do you drive to all these places by yourself?

For the most part, yes, because I don't know others than can afford the time or expensve of taking road trips for weeks at a time. Additionally, nobody would want to follow me around from Starbucks to Starbucks, so if I had company, I would have to split my Starbucks time visiting other things, and for the moment my focus is to visit all the stores. In the future, when I only have a few new stores to visit in an area, I'll be glad to have some company to drive the long distances, visit a few stores, then go check out museums or tourist attractions.

 

What about locations in Albertsons and Barnes & Noble?

I'm only interested in visiting locations owned and operated in whole or in part by Starbucks corporation. Albertson's locations are called licensed stores, or business affiliates, and they are run by the grocery store. Barnes & Noble Cafes are not even that--they just serve the coffee. Now, some B&N locations do have a Starbucks proper attached, and those do count.

 

Don't you get bored/tired driving alone?

Yes, I am often exhausted just a day or two into each trip, because of prolonged driving and insufficient sleep, and there are periods when I feel bored. But typically, even on long stretches of highway, such as the 600 miles from El Paso to Dallas or Austin, I listen to the radio or music or use the time to call friends and relatives, or just to clear my mind.

 

Isn't all that caffeine harmful?

When I'm not Starbucks-hopping, I typically drink three short (8 oz) cups of drip coffee a day, which is an amount that scientists have said is not even addictive. And I'm not worried about overdosing on caffeine during the course of a few weeks while on a road trip--the effects probably pass once I return to my normal routine.

 

Won't they just keep building new stores?

Yes, but I can visit them faster than they build them, if I put my mind to it.

 

Do you anticipate ever stopping.

No. Unless they stop building them.

 

How can you afford to do all this traveling?

I'm a male gigolo (and alway eager for new clients, ladies), and I develop computer software on the side.

 

What happens when you actually visit them all?

When I have tasted the blood of the Siren (coffee) at every nexus between her being and our universe (each Starbucks location), this act will complete the cycle of prophecy, and I will transcend the mortal plane and join the Siren in Java (the other-worldy dimension) as her consort (yeah, baby).